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WALTER:
Previously on Scorpion...
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♪ ...Meu amigo amigvel. ♪
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I found a mathematical formula
for their dance tracks,
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00:00:08,291 --> 00:00:10,726
and a few weeks later,
I had royalties coming in.
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If I uncuff him
without a direct order,
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I violate a half a dozen
federal statutes.
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Collins!
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(laughs)
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Agent Gallo, you're under arrest
for instigating an escape.
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I want a lawyer.
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I want to be your attorney.
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You want to what?
I can do this.
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I want a family.
I've always wanted a family.
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And I want one with you,
'cause I love you.
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Shall we start now?
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(phone chimes)
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WOMAN:
You may proceed, Counselor.
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Counselor?
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(whispering):
You're up.
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Oh. She means me.
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Right, I am a "counselor" now.
Okay.
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(sighs)
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Your Honor...
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or would you prefer "Judge"?
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'Cause "Your Honor"--
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it-it just sounds so formal.
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But we-we are...
in a, uh, formal setting.
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Either will do.
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Okay, then.
"Your Honor" it is.
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I move for
an immediate dismissal
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of all the charges
against my client,
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Cabe Gallo, who is
accused of abetting
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the escape of federal inmate
Mark Collins, on the grounds
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that if my client had
acted in any other manner,
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it would have been
in direct violation
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of Mr. Collins'
constitutional rights.
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Thank you.
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This is the part
of the proceedings
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where you elaborate,
Counselor.
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SYLVESTER:
Right.
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(laughs)
Of course.
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(clears throat)
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The Eighth Amendment forbids
cruel and unusual punishment.
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Yes, they taught us that
in law school.
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How does it pertain
to this case?
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Well, Honor...
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I mean, Your Judge... ship...
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This brief... Oh.
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(rifling through papers)
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This brief.
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Uh, it describes the
incident in question.
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If Agent Gallo had r-run off
without...
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Uh...
Uncuffing.
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Right. Uncuffing the stun cuff
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from Mark Collins' fo, um...
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His ankle.
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(laughing):
Yes.
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His ankle, then the prisoner
would have essentially
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been tortured by electrocution,
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which is in clear violation
of his Eighth Amendment rights.
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Okay.
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I follow your logic.
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And it is a good argument,
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especially for someone
who is clearly new at this.
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(laughs)
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But whether your client was
protecting Mr. Collins' rights
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or helping him escape is
a matter for a jury to decide,
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not me.
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This case will proceed to trial.
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The second I got in
front of that judge,
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my brain turned
to Jell-O.
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I have an eidetic memory.
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I can remember
the ingredients
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from a cereal box
from when I was eight,
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but in there, I forgot
the word "ankle."
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You can handle pressure.
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I've seen you save
the world with math
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that would make Einstein
cry uncle.
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Math? Math isn't a
persuasive argument.
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You'll do
better next time.
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What's important is
today's your birthday.
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The big two-five.
Let's celebrate.
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I'll call the gang,
let 'em know what happened
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so when we get there,
we can focus
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on what's really important:
Sly's Big Day.
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Okay. Thanks, Cabe.
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(tuning guitar)
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HAPPY:
What's up, boss?
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You wanted to see me?
Yes.
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I need your expert opinion.
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My expert opinion is that,
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whatever you're doing
with the guitar,
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you should not record
on that fossil.
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Well, analog provides
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better signal-to-noise ratio.
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I am making a song
for Paige.
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Okay, what did you do wrong
that now you have to do this?
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I, uh...
I failed miserably
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at a live-music date
a few weeks ago,
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so I am making it up to her
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by writing a love ballad.
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And I figured since you had
a hit song in Portugal,
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that I would like for you
to evaluate my progress.
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Yeah, that song
was garbage.
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I just used math.
Oh, yeah. Me, too.
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I created an algorithm
to analyze
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every major love song over
the past 75 years,
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and then I put together
an optimal combination
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of the most popular words.
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- Oh, boy.
- Yep.
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So, from the '50s
to the '70s,
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the most commonly used word
was "love".
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And then, oddly,
the emphasis shifted
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to "baby" in the '80s.
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And then songwriters
became infatuated
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with the word "booty,"
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which is slang for buttocks.
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Just play the song.
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Okay.
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♪ Your love is love is love,
baby ♪
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♪ You know your love
is love is love ♪
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♪ 'Cause I love you ♪
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♪ And you love me ♪
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♪ You've got a lovely ♪
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♪ Booty ♪
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♪ You let... ♪
What's wrong?
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Uh, all of it.
But most importantly,
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your song has no soul.
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I did exactly what you did,
and you got a hit.
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I rolled for the lowest
common denominator.
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You're trying to appeal
to a specific person,
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who might not be a genius,
but whose EQ is off the charts.
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You're not gonna fool her
with the cookie-cutter crap.
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You want to make
the waitress swoon?
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Okay, can the math,
look into your heart.
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Also, don't mention
her booty.
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(door opens)
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Motion to dismiss
got dismissed?
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My client has encouraged me
to focus on my birthday,
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so I will not
discuss the case.
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You want to talk about it?
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You ever hear
of the yips?
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What, like when
a second baseman
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suddenly can't toss
the ball to first?
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Yeah. I think Sly's got 'em.
Wow.
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Sylvester's first
sports disorder.
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Figured it would be jock itch.
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I think he's in his head
about talking in court.
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I mean, I want to
believe in the kid, but...
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if he craps out, I'm dead.
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He's not taking it too well.
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At least his birthday
ought to cheer him up.
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Speaking of birthdays,
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how go the efforts
of putting a bun
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in Happy's oven?
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I'm not discussing
Happy's oven with you.
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You know, the other day
I was in the doctor's office,
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and I picked up one of
those women's magazines.
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There was an article that said
a lady has a better chance
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of conceiving if,
by the end, you know,
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she's... she's gotten
sprinkles on her cupcake.
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Are you making sure
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that Happy's getting sprinkles
on her cupcake, son?
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What?
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You know about sprinkles?
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Yeah, yeah, yeah,
I know about sprinkles.
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Happy's got more sprinkles
than the ice cream man.
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All right. 'Cause if
you need any tips
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in the gooty department...
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I don't need any tips.
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And please don't ruin
gooty for me.
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I'm just trying to help.
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Hey, guys, what's up?
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Nothing.
Nothing that concerns you.
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Um, okay.
Well, is everybody ready?
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We've got a long drive
to the festival grounds
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for Sylvester's big
birthday outing.
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You're telling me.
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When I worked for the FBI,
I used to have to schlep stuff
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out to the evidence warehouse,
not far from where we're going.
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It is in the middle
of nowhere.
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Mm, centrally located.
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That's the only way they could
get the nerds out to Nerdfest
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to pull a profit.
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Oh, costumes.
Toby. Uh...
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Happy.
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Not good.
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What's not good?
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We, sir,
are headed to celebrate
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my day of birth
at the Los Angeles
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Renaissance Festival.
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It's today, damn it.
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Oh, yes.
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And we will get in
ahead of the masses
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with these--
our VIP passes.
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So don your garb,
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for today, we're gonna party
like it's 1599.
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♪ ♪
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(record scratches)
200
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How long we been walking?
201
00:08:26,629 --> 00:08:29,129
Feels like forever.
This is ridiculous.
202
00:08:29,130 --> 00:08:30,997
Why'd they put the parking lot
so far away?
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"No cars allowed
on the site."
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00:08:32,967 --> 00:08:36,436
This festival aims
for total authenticity.
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00:08:36,437 --> 00:08:37,870
Really? They had
electrical transformers
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00:08:37,873 --> 00:08:39,273
in the 1600s?
SYLVESTER: Oh, man,
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00:08:39,274 --> 00:08:40,474
that isn't supposed
to be thee.
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00:08:40,475 --> 00:08:43,043
The county runs utility
lines through this area.
209
00:08:43,044 --> 00:08:44,378
Land's not good for much,
that's why they put
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00:08:44,379 --> 00:08:46,279
government warehouses
out here.
211
00:08:46,282 --> 00:08:50,584
Let us not talk of such
crass matters as commerce.
212
00:08:50,586 --> 00:08:53,653
It is time
to celebrate.
213
00:08:53,655 --> 00:08:57,157
Let the revels commence!
214
00:09:08,570 --> 00:09:10,903
Come on, birthday boy.
215
00:09:13,808 --> 00:09:16,009
The men here are
all pretending to be
216
00:09:16,010 --> 00:09:18,110
knights and warriors,
while the women are pretending
217
00:09:18,113 --> 00:09:19,312
to wash their clothes.
218
00:09:19,315 --> 00:09:20,846
Even the fake past sucks.
219
00:09:20,849 --> 00:09:21,847
Oh, it couldn't have
been all bad.
220
00:09:21,850 --> 00:09:22,916
What about the age
of chivalry?
221
00:09:22,918 --> 00:09:25,885
Make way, wench.
222
00:09:25,888 --> 00:09:27,321
Seriously?
Would you...
223
00:09:27,322 --> 00:09:29,255
All right, look... Hey,
hey, there's a blacksmith.
224
00:09:29,258 --> 00:09:32,091
You like that kind
of thing. Come on.
225
00:09:32,094 --> 00:09:34,293
Look at that.
The simplicity
226
00:09:34,296 --> 00:09:35,696
of this time period
is so amazing.
227
00:09:35,697 --> 00:09:36,830
Yeah, well, you know,
if they really wanted
228
00:09:36,831 --> 00:09:38,030
to make this place authentic,
229
00:09:38,033 --> 00:09:39,700
they would throw raw sewage
out in the street,
230
00:09:39,701 --> 00:09:41,268
and give a few of
these people the plague.
231
00:09:41,269 --> 00:09:44,071
They have authentic food.
They have big turkey legs
232
00:09:44,072 --> 00:09:46,038
and roasted ears of corn.
233
00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:48,240
Cheesy fries.
Well...
234
00:09:48,243 --> 00:09:49,475
they could have had
cheesy French fries.
235
00:09:49,477 --> 00:09:50,543
They had cheese,
they had potatoes,
236
00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:51,445
they had France.
237
00:09:51,447 --> 00:09:53,279
Actually,
the potato was brought
238
00:09:53,282 --> 00:09:55,749
from Peru to Spain
by conquistadors.
239
00:09:55,750 --> 00:09:58,217
This place is about fun.
It's not a history lesson.
240
00:09:58,220 --> 00:09:59,919
Actually, this place
needs a history lesson,
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00:09:59,922 --> 00:10:02,221
starting with us-- it is silly
for you to be dressed
242
00:10:02,224 --> 00:10:03,590
as Maid Marian
and me as Robin Hood
243
00:10:03,591 --> 00:10:05,091
because not not only
were Robin and Marian
244
00:10:05,094 --> 00:10:07,360
not figures of the Renaissance
245
00:10:07,363 --> 00:10:09,296
but rather of the late
medieval period,
246
00:10:09,298 --> 00:10:12,298
also, they were probably
not even real people at all.
247
00:10:12,301 --> 00:10:13,232
(trumpet fanfare)
248
00:10:13,235 --> 00:10:15,402
MAN:
Make way for the king.
249
00:10:15,403 --> 00:10:18,138
WOMAN: My Lord.
MAN: Your Highness.
250
00:10:18,139 --> 00:10:19,538
(horse neighing)
251
00:10:19,541 --> 00:10:21,942
Clearly milady has chosen
252
00:10:21,943 --> 00:10:23,744
to grace our fine
English Festival dressed
253
00:10:23,745 --> 00:10:24,911
as a hero of yesteryear.
254
00:10:24,913 --> 00:10:28,181
I, King Phillip,
hereby declare
255
00:10:28,182 --> 00:10:29,883
her costume lacks
but one thing--
256
00:10:29,884 --> 00:10:31,485
a rose.
(Paige gasps)
257
00:10:31,486 --> 00:10:32,985
Which, alas, pales
258
00:10:32,988 --> 00:10:34,788
beside such beauty
as your own.
259
00:10:34,789 --> 00:10:37,289
Why, thank you, my liege.
260
00:10:37,292 --> 00:10:39,692
Please, (chuckles)
call me king.
261
00:10:39,695 --> 00:10:41,927
Actually, King Phillip
was Spanish,
262
00:10:41,929 --> 00:10:44,663
and an enemy of England
during the Renaissance.
263
00:10:44,665 --> 00:10:46,732
Therefore, would most
certainly not be presiding
264
00:10:46,735 --> 00:10:48,168
over an English festival.
265
00:10:48,169 --> 00:10:49,870
Enough. What is your problem?
266
00:10:49,871 --> 00:10:51,605
The past is,
by definition, past.
267
00:10:51,606 --> 00:10:53,673
Pretending to be
in it is silly.
268
00:10:53,674 --> 00:10:56,009
Whatever. I'm going
to enjoy the festival
269
00:10:56,010 --> 00:10:58,010
on my own.
270
00:10:58,013 --> 00:11:00,346
Good morrow, my king.
271
00:11:00,349 --> 00:11:03,216
Mmm. Milady.
272
00:11:03,217 --> 00:11:04,283
(sighs)
273
00:11:04,285 --> 00:11:07,254
A fool thinks himself
to be a wise man,
274
00:11:07,255 --> 00:11:10,389
but a wise man knows himself
to be a fool.
275
00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:12,725
(horse neighs)
276
00:11:12,727 --> 00:11:14,226
King coming through!
277
00:11:14,229 --> 00:11:16,863
HAPPY:
That is a caltrop.
278
00:11:16,865 --> 00:11:19,032
Medieval anti-cavalry device.
279
00:11:19,033 --> 00:11:22,568
It's like road strips cops use
to stop cars, but for horses.
280
00:11:22,571 --> 00:11:26,405
It's horrible, but this guy's
technique is excellent.
281
00:11:27,775 --> 00:11:28,808
Hey, she's taken.
282
00:11:28,811 --> 00:11:30,677
He isn't flirting.
283
00:11:30,678 --> 00:11:31,912
I'm dressed like an idiot.
284
00:11:31,913 --> 00:11:33,913
Yeah, but you look amazing.
285
00:11:33,915 --> 00:11:36,048
Really?
This outfit, too?
286
00:11:36,051 --> 00:11:37,283
I'm an executioner.
287
00:11:37,286 --> 00:11:39,052
What a way to go.
288
00:11:39,053 --> 00:11:40,486
Okay.
289
00:11:40,489 --> 00:11:42,154
Meet me at the hayloft
290
00:11:42,157 --> 00:11:44,124
at Ye Old Livery Stable
in five minutes.
291
00:11:44,125 --> 00:11:45,826
I want to see
this guy finish.
292
00:11:45,827 --> 00:11:48,562
As you wish.
293
00:11:48,563 --> 00:11:51,264
You, me lady, shall
experience pleasures
294
00:11:51,265 --> 00:11:53,667
the likes of
which no man...
295
00:11:53,668 --> 00:11:55,302
Don't ruin it.
296
00:11:55,303 --> 00:11:56,836
Copy that.
297
00:12:00,408 --> 00:12:02,142
Thank you.
298
00:12:02,144 --> 00:12:04,311
Oh, Toby, can I talk
to you for a moment?
299
00:12:04,312 --> 00:12:05,068
Yeah, you couldn't
have picked a worse time.
300
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,013
No.
301
00:12:06,014 --> 00:12:07,447
It's driving me nuts that
Walter can't just relax
302
00:12:07,448 --> 00:12:09,649
and enjoy this place, and if
not for Sly, then for me.
303
00:12:09,650 --> 00:12:11,717
- Yeah, well, Walter's Walter. I got to go.
- No, please, Toby.
304
00:12:11,720 --> 00:12:13,820
It's like, it's
like every week
305
00:12:13,822 --> 00:12:15,621
I'm giving him
boyfriend lessons.
306
00:12:15,624 --> 00:12:18,191
I-I knew it would be
hard, but this hard?
307
00:12:18,192 --> 00:12:20,393
(scoffs)
You and Happy
308
00:12:20,394 --> 00:12:23,363
had problems but at your cores
you're alike.
309
00:12:23,365 --> 00:12:24,898
And... (sighs)
I don't know,
310
00:12:24,899 --> 00:12:27,333
we're just-- we're such
different people.
311
00:12:27,336 --> 00:12:29,735
Yeah. Well, um,
312
00:12:29,738 --> 00:12:31,738
you know,
Happy and I are, uh,
313
00:12:31,740 --> 00:12:33,340
we're like, uh,
double chocolate,
314
00:12:33,341 --> 00:12:34,841
which-which is an
amazing flavor,
315
00:12:34,842 --> 00:12:37,244
but, um, so is chocolate
and peanut butter.
316
00:12:37,245 --> 00:12:39,812
You just got to give it
some time. Y-You know,
317
00:12:39,815 --> 00:12:42,048
it took Happy and me a long time
to be on the same page.
318
00:12:42,049 --> 00:12:43,616
Look at us now.
319
00:12:43,619 --> 00:12:45,451
We're gonna
get it on in a hayloft.
320
00:12:45,453 --> 00:12:46,820
Ooh, I'm happy to hear
the effort
321
00:12:46,822 --> 00:12:48,721
to bring us a Scorpion baby
continues apace.
322
00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:51,091
Pardon the interruption,
kind sir,
323
00:12:51,092 --> 00:12:53,092
but if a child
is thine heart's desire,
324
00:12:53,095 --> 00:12:55,562
what wouldest thou say
325
00:12:55,563 --> 00:12:57,397
to this magical
pregnancy amulet?
326
00:12:57,399 --> 00:12:58,865
Anne Boleyn was wearing one
327
00:12:58,866 --> 00:13:01,201
when she conceived
Queen Elizabeth.
328
00:13:01,202 --> 00:13:03,336
Oh, yes, what wouldest
thou say?
329
00:13:03,337 --> 00:13:05,639
I'd say that story
and thine amulet
330
00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,008
are pure skimble-skamble.
331
00:13:09,076 --> 00:13:10,376
Huh.
332
00:13:10,379 --> 00:13:12,913
Hey, look, Sly.
333
00:13:12,914 --> 00:13:14,980
It's your nerd buddies
from the Warlock's Chest.
334
00:13:14,982 --> 00:13:17,783
Yeah, they play
Renaissance Festivals
335
00:13:17,786 --> 00:13:20,052
as the "Lord of the Sings."
336
00:13:20,054 --> 00:13:22,655
(gasps)
They got Nightingale.
337
00:13:22,658 --> 00:13:24,691
He's a gamer.
338
00:13:24,692 --> 00:13:26,927
He usually frolics in Riverside,
but sometimes he jams with them
339
00:13:26,928 --> 00:13:28,294
because he's got
the voice of a...
340
00:13:28,297 --> 00:13:29,629
A meadowlark?
341
00:13:29,630 --> 00:13:31,230
No, of a nightingale.
342
00:13:32,301 --> 00:13:34,567
A hale and hearty
Happy Birthday to thee,
343
00:13:34,570 --> 00:13:36,101
Sylvester the Conquestor.
344
00:13:36,104 --> 00:13:37,370
SYLVESTER:
Ah, dear Kaldor,
345
00:13:37,371 --> 00:13:39,004
today, I am disguised
346
00:13:39,006 --> 00:13:42,107
as astronomer Galileo Galilei.
347
00:13:42,110 --> 00:13:44,543
And hail to thee as well,
Magnus Gallo.
348
00:13:44,546 --> 00:13:45,745
"Magnus"?
349
00:13:45,746 --> 00:13:47,581
Don't ask.
350
00:13:47,582 --> 00:13:49,749
Kaldor. Others.
351
00:13:49,750 --> 00:13:52,719
Sweet Lord Rayne costume,
Magnus.
352
00:13:52,721 --> 00:13:53,986
Are you a Bladie, too?
353
00:13:53,989 --> 00:13:54,854
Come again?
354
00:13:54,855 --> 00:13:56,088
Chair of Blades.
355
00:13:56,091 --> 00:13:57,256
You're dressed
as one of the characters
356
00:13:57,259 --> 00:13:59,725
from Chair of Blades.
357
00:13:59,727 --> 00:14:00,894
It's one of the most popular
TV shows out there.
358
00:14:00,895 --> 00:14:01,860
It's about a group of warriors
359
00:14:01,863 --> 00:14:03,629
who vie for the right
360
00:14:03,631 --> 00:14:06,166
to sit upon a chair of blades.
361
00:14:06,168 --> 00:14:07,399
That sounds uncomfortable.
362
00:14:07,402 --> 00:14:08,534
Sounds stupid.
363
00:14:08,537 --> 00:14:09,668
NIGHTINGALE:
Okay, guys.
364
00:14:09,671 --> 00:14:11,870
Let us jam.
365
00:14:16,077 --> 00:14:18,677
♪ Being a maiden ♪
366
00:14:18,679 --> 00:14:20,679
♪ Is pretty rough ♪
367
00:14:20,682 --> 00:14:24,618
♪ Ten hours you work the field ♪
368
00:14:24,620 --> 00:14:28,355
♪ And somehow,
it's still not enough ♪
369
00:14:28,356 --> 00:14:30,990
♪ I want no other ♪
370
00:14:30,993 --> 00:14:33,525
♪ To churn my butter ♪
371
00:14:33,528 --> 00:14:35,995
♪ And I'm just here ♪
372
00:14:36,999 --> 00:14:38,597
♪ So I can say ♪
373
00:14:40,034 --> 00:14:41,500
♪ Please let this knight ♪
374
00:14:41,503 --> 00:14:42,902
♪ Break up your day ♪
375
00:14:42,903 --> 00:14:45,739
You got to be kidding me.
♪ Please let this knight ♪
376
00:14:45,740 --> 00:14:48,707
♪ Break up your day. ♪
377
00:14:48,710 --> 00:14:50,509
Sword in the Stone.
378
00:14:50,511 --> 00:14:52,711
I want to be king.
379
00:14:55,149 --> 00:14:57,951
(grunting)
380
00:14:57,952 --> 00:14:59,719
(crowd moaning)
381
00:14:59,721 --> 00:15:03,089
Thank you. All right.
382
00:15:03,091 --> 00:15:05,591
(clears throat)
383
00:15:05,594 --> 00:15:08,995
Sword of Arthur,
from this stone,
384
00:15:08,996 --> 00:15:11,530
I thee yank!
385
00:15:11,533 --> 00:15:13,432
You're never gonna do it.
386
00:15:13,434 --> 00:15:14,833
Let the kid play.
387
00:15:14,836 --> 00:15:16,536
Yeah. Come on,
let him play.
388
00:15:16,538 --> 00:15:18,138
Come on, Sly.
389
00:15:18,139 --> 00:15:19,838
(trumpet blows)
390
00:15:19,841 --> 00:15:21,408
Royalty passing through.
391
00:15:21,409 --> 00:15:22,741
Oh.
Zounds.
392
00:15:22,744 --> 00:15:23,976
It is King Phillip.
393
00:15:23,979 --> 00:15:25,644
KING PHILLIP:
Yes.
394
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:27,746
Oh, stop it.
395
00:15:27,749 --> 00:15:29,416
Keep going.
396
00:15:32,888 --> 00:15:35,822
Arise, peasant.
397
00:15:35,823 --> 00:15:38,024
And behold.
398
00:15:45,167 --> 00:15:46,732
(shouts)
399
00:15:46,735 --> 00:15:49,635
'Tis nothing
for the one true king!
400
00:15:49,638 --> 00:15:51,837
(cheering, applause)
401
00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:53,472
ALL:
Huzzah!
402
00:15:53,475 --> 00:15:55,674
What says thou?
Huzzah!
403
00:15:55,677 --> 00:15:57,943
Huzzah!
Huzzah!
404
00:15:59,548 --> 00:16:00,679
Hmm.
405
00:16:00,682 --> 00:16:04,551
Wouldest thou care
for a try, Robin of the Hood?
406
00:16:04,552 --> 00:16:05,985
- Oh, I'm happy to.
- Mm.
407
00:16:05,986 --> 00:16:07,120
Just give me the remote.
408
00:16:07,121 --> 00:16:09,322
(laughing):
What meanest thou?
409
00:16:09,323 --> 00:16:11,356
I meanest the device
in your left hand
410
00:16:11,359 --> 00:16:13,826
that kills the electromagnet
holding the sword.
411
00:16:13,828 --> 00:16:15,729
That's the
biggest sham over here.
412
00:16:15,730 --> 00:16:17,730
So your stores
have credit cards,
413
00:16:17,732 --> 00:16:19,164
the band has microphones,
414
00:16:19,167 --> 00:16:20,866
and you have an electromagnet.
415
00:16:20,869 --> 00:16:23,102
There was no electricity
in the Renaissance.
416
00:16:23,105 --> 00:16:24,571
(man grunting)
417
00:16:25,639 --> 00:16:27,039
(electricity sparking)
(people exclaiming)
418
00:16:27,042 --> 00:16:28,942
(horse neighing)
What happened?
419
00:16:28,943 --> 00:16:30,876
WALTER: Oh, the transformer
that didn't exist
420
00:16:30,879 --> 00:16:32,846
during the Renaissance
just blew up.
421
00:16:32,847 --> 00:16:34,614
Well, I guess
we should just go home.
422
00:16:34,615 --> 00:16:35,881
It's Sly's birthday.
423
00:16:35,884 --> 00:16:37,216
Fix it.
424
00:16:40,855 --> 00:16:42,121
What happened? Overheating?
425
00:16:42,124 --> 00:16:44,224
TOBY: No. I didn't
get a chance to.
426
00:16:44,225 --> 00:16:46,326
The electricity went out,
and we had to stop, and...
427
00:16:46,327 --> 00:16:47,826
Oh. Oh, the transformer.
428
00:16:47,828 --> 00:16:49,796
That wasn't an overload.
It was sabotage.
429
00:16:49,798 --> 00:16:51,663
Piece of metal was jammed
into the works.
430
00:16:51,665 --> 00:16:54,267
Blew the substation.
Power must be out for miles.
431
00:16:54,269 --> 00:16:56,436
Who'd sabotage a
Renaissance Festival?
432
00:16:56,437 --> 00:16:59,404
Probably someone with a sense
of historical accuracy.
433
00:16:59,407 --> 00:17:00,273
Shut up, listen.
434
00:17:00,274 --> 00:17:01,274
(motorcycle engine revving)
435
00:17:01,275 --> 00:17:03,442
Sly, give me your telescope.
436
00:17:12,420 --> 00:17:13,452
What are you looking at?
437
00:17:13,454 --> 00:17:14,653
Biker down there,
438
00:17:14,655 --> 00:17:16,990
wearing the same
stupid clothes as us.
439
00:17:16,991 --> 00:17:18,391
You think he disguised himself
so he could come here
440
00:17:18,393 --> 00:17:19,759
and blow the transformer?
441
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:22,729
And kill power to the security
at the LAPD evidence warehouse.
442
00:17:27,434 --> 00:17:29,301
Oh, man.
443
00:17:29,304 --> 00:17:31,171
They're gonna rob the place.
444
00:17:31,173 --> 00:17:35,173
♪ Scorpion 4x08 ♪
Faire Is Foul
Original Air Date on November 13, 2017
445
00:17:35,173 --> 00:17:37,173
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
446
00:17:44,519 --> 00:17:46,685
(birds chirping)
447
00:17:48,556 --> 00:17:51,891
Yep. They are definitely
robbing the evidence warehouse.
448
00:17:51,893 --> 00:17:53,092
Bandits?
449
00:17:53,094 --> 00:17:54,460
Are you certain?
450
00:17:54,461 --> 00:17:55,827
I'm calling 911.
451
00:17:55,829 --> 00:17:59,132
WALTER: Yeah, one of the bikers
is dressed in Festival garb.
452
00:17:59,134 --> 00:18:02,300
I'm guessing Medieval Knievel
disguised himself
453
00:18:02,303 --> 00:18:04,636
so he could stroll right in here
without being noticed.
454
00:18:04,638 --> 00:18:07,306
And destroy the substation
transformer,
455
00:18:07,307 --> 00:18:09,474
knocking out the alarms, doors
and electric fence
456
00:18:09,477 --> 00:18:10,777
at the evidence warehouse.
457
00:18:10,778 --> 00:18:11,676
My cell's dead.
458
00:18:11,679 --> 00:18:12,944
Mine, too.
459
00:18:12,946 --> 00:18:14,012
Oh, when that transformer blew,
460
00:18:14,015 --> 00:18:15,381
it must have sent
an electromagnetic pulse
461
00:18:15,383 --> 00:18:16,582
through the festival grounds.
462
00:18:16,584 --> 00:18:18,183
Computer chips are toast.
463
00:18:18,185 --> 00:18:20,185
Surge must've fried the nearest
cell phone tower, too.
464
00:18:20,188 --> 00:18:22,221
Well, it might as well
really be in the 16th century.
465
00:18:22,222 --> 00:18:24,423
Is there a landline
at the office?
466
00:18:24,425 --> 00:18:26,858
What meanest thou
by "landline"?
467
00:18:26,861 --> 00:18:28,060
Oh, dude, seriously?
468
00:18:28,063 --> 00:18:30,630
Verily. There is a "landline."
469
00:18:30,632 --> 00:18:33,833
But, alas, the phone
is without cord.
470
00:18:33,835 --> 00:18:35,801
A cordless phone. That
means we can't dial out
471
00:18:35,804 --> 00:18:37,470
until we restore power.
472
00:18:37,471 --> 00:18:39,072
Can we restore power?
473
00:18:39,074 --> 00:18:41,441
Well, with the crap around here
to work with? Unknown.
474
00:18:41,442 --> 00:18:43,476
When they destroyed the
substation, it must have cut off
475
00:18:43,478 --> 00:18:45,044
electricity to homes,
476
00:18:45,046 --> 00:18:47,579
hospitals, uh, businesses,
traffic lights.
477
00:18:47,582 --> 00:18:48,614
It's rush hour soon.
478
00:18:48,615 --> 00:18:49,915
It's gonna be Carmageddon
out there.
479
00:18:49,917 --> 00:18:51,584
So you're saying
things are gonna get worse?
480
00:18:51,586 --> 00:18:53,019
(gunshots in distance)
481
00:18:54,989 --> 00:18:57,256
CABE:
Things already got worse.
482
00:18:59,094 --> 00:19:01,227
They shot the guard.
483
00:19:01,229 --> 00:19:02,461
He's not moving.
484
00:19:06,601 --> 00:19:08,733
Oh, that doesn't look good.
485
00:19:08,736 --> 00:19:10,670
Oh, hang on. That man's alive.
486
00:19:10,672 --> 00:19:12,571
All right. Walter and
Toby, you're with me.
487
00:19:12,574 --> 00:19:14,740
Paige, see if this place
has ye olde first aid kit.
488
00:19:14,741 --> 00:19:15,472
We're gonna need it
when we get back.
489
00:19:15,497 --> 00:19:16,375
On it.
490
00:19:16,376 --> 00:19:18,076
Okay. Sly, Happy,
go fix the electricity,
491
00:19:18,078 --> 00:19:19,244
see if we can call for help.
492
00:19:19,247 --> 00:19:20,413
Copy that.
493
00:19:20,414 --> 00:19:21,948
How are you gonna get
all the way down there?
494
00:19:21,950 --> 00:19:23,082
CABE:
We can't drive,
495
00:19:23,084 --> 00:19:24,784
'cause we parked a mile away.
496
00:19:24,786 --> 00:19:25,917
CABE:
King.
497
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:27,220
Go back to the festival,
498
00:19:27,221 --> 00:19:28,855
tell everybody
to get the hell out of here.
499
00:19:28,856 --> 00:19:31,790
You're gonna have
to do it on foot,
500
00:19:31,792 --> 00:19:34,594
because I'm gonna
commandeer your horse.
501
00:19:41,301 --> 00:19:43,236
Don't worry, buddy.
We're gonna help you.
502
00:19:44,439 --> 00:19:45,805
(clattering)
503
00:19:52,614 --> 00:19:56,249
Bikers are ripping that place
apart looking for something.
504
00:19:56,250 --> 00:19:58,351
The evidence manifest
is computerized,
505
00:19:58,353 --> 00:19:59,852
so they can't
check it.
506
00:19:59,854 --> 00:20:01,887
It's gonna take them a while
to find what they want.
507
00:20:01,890 --> 00:20:04,423
Hey, are there
any other cops in there?
508
00:20:04,424 --> 00:20:06,358
(breathlessly):
No.
509
00:20:08,962 --> 00:20:10,296
Okay. You two,
get him to the cart.
510
00:20:10,298 --> 00:20:11,631
I'll make sure
they can't follow us.
511
00:20:11,633 --> 00:20:13,865
Okay. Go, go, go, go. Go.
512
00:20:17,337 --> 00:20:19,605
(exhales)
513
00:20:20,508 --> 00:20:22,541
Okay.
514
00:20:22,544 --> 00:20:24,109
(grunts)
515
00:20:24,112 --> 00:20:26,045
Defibrillator. (gasps)
First aid kit.
516
00:20:26,047 --> 00:20:27,113
What's the verdict?
517
00:20:27,115 --> 00:20:28,079
It's a melted mess in there,
518
00:20:28,082 --> 00:20:29,214
but if we can make a new coil,
519
00:20:29,217 --> 00:20:30,849
I think I can get this thing
running again.
520
00:20:30,852 --> 00:20:31,683
How do we do that?
521
00:20:31,685 --> 00:20:33,219
We have to create a ferromagnet.
522
00:20:33,221 --> 00:20:34,153
In English.
523
00:20:34,154 --> 00:20:35,820
We need iron bars
and copper wire.
524
00:20:35,823 --> 00:20:37,722
Oh, the jewelry booth
uses copper wire.
525
00:20:37,724 --> 00:20:39,325
And the blacksmith
has plenty of iron.
526
00:20:39,326 --> 00:20:41,693
Sly, give me a hand. Let's go.
527
00:20:41,695 --> 00:20:45,865
Okay, uh, you put on some gloves
and I'll get you some tongs.
528
00:20:47,634 --> 00:20:50,403
HAPPY:
Okay, Thor, hammer away.
529
00:20:51,905 --> 00:20:53,239
(shouts)
530
00:20:55,175 --> 00:20:57,042
(quietly):
Why didn't he slash the tires?
531
00:20:57,045 --> 00:21:00,212
They're Kevlar. You can't pop
them with a set of keys.
532
00:21:00,214 --> 00:21:01,881
Can't be married to Happy Quinn
without learning
533
00:21:01,883 --> 00:21:03,816
a thing or two
about motorcycles.
534
00:21:08,589 --> 00:21:10,690
(grunts)
535
00:21:11,858 --> 00:21:13,259
(quietly):
Let's go.
536
00:21:13,260 --> 00:21:14,594
Hyah!
(horse neighs)
537
00:21:16,330 --> 00:21:18,730
(hissing)
538
00:21:19,834 --> 00:21:22,300
Uh, this'll do. Let's go.
539
00:21:23,971 --> 00:21:26,605
Hey. I got the wire.
Okay, we've got
540
00:21:26,607 --> 00:21:28,941
to step the current down
from 110K to 9K volts.
541
00:21:28,942 --> 00:21:30,643
That means wrapping
the short ends
542
00:21:30,644 --> 00:21:31,943
of this iron rectangle
with copper.
543
00:21:31,945 --> 00:21:34,413
Has to have the right ratio
of turns. Sly, compute.
544
00:21:34,414 --> 00:21:35,681
Right. Faraday's law.
545
00:21:35,682 --> 00:21:37,250
Okay, primary coil needs
eleven hundred...
546
00:21:37,251 --> 00:21:39,018
Okay, just do it.
I've got other work.
547
00:21:39,019 --> 00:21:42,153
(horse neighs)
548
00:21:42,155 --> 00:21:44,356
(horse snorts)
549
00:21:45,393 --> 00:21:46,558
(horse neighs)
550
00:21:46,560 --> 00:21:47,893
Whoa.
551
00:21:47,894 --> 00:21:49,528
All right,
this guy's in bad shape!
552
00:21:49,529 --> 00:21:50,695
We got to hurry!
553
00:21:52,267 --> 00:21:54,333
Uh, heartbeat's irregular.
I got to get that bullet out.
554
00:21:54,335 --> 00:21:56,368
Uh, I need tweezers,
forceps, something.
555
00:21:56,371 --> 00:21:57,737
Will jewelry pliers work?
556
00:21:57,739 --> 00:21:59,771
That's perfect.
Uh, now I need to sterilize.
557
00:21:59,773 --> 00:22:00,436
Is there alcohol?
558
00:22:00,461 --> 00:22:02,409
There's none
in the first aid kid.
559
00:22:02,410 --> 00:22:04,210
How 'bout the finest rum?
560
00:22:04,211 --> 00:22:05,076
That'll do!
561
00:22:05,078 --> 00:22:06,244
CABE: Okay,
everyone, your help
562
00:22:06,247 --> 00:22:07,346
is appreciated,
563
00:22:07,347 --> 00:22:09,015
but we're dealing
with dangerous men.
564
00:22:09,017 --> 00:22:10,750
And Phil here
should've already
565
00:22:10,751 --> 00:22:12,117
told you to go home.
566
00:22:12,119 --> 00:22:13,519
We can't.
567
00:22:13,520 --> 00:22:15,855
With the traffic lights out
and half of L.A. blacked out,
568
00:22:15,856 --> 00:22:18,790
the-the service roads to the
freeway are backed up forever!
569
00:22:18,792 --> 00:22:20,558
Sorry, pal,
570
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:23,128
I know this doesn't tickle.
(grunts)
571
00:22:23,131 --> 00:22:26,464
(shouting)
(groaning)
572
00:22:26,467 --> 00:22:28,070
Walt, pour some
of that grog on the wound.
573
00:22:28,095 --> 00:22:29,001
Yeah.
574
00:22:29,002 --> 00:22:30,670
This is gonna sting-eth.
(groaning)
575
00:22:30,672 --> 00:22:33,439
This is great.
I'm gonna throw up.
576
00:22:33,441 --> 00:22:36,208
(panting)
577
00:22:39,413 --> 00:22:41,047
You look funny.
578
00:22:41,048 --> 00:22:43,949
Verily. How you feeling?!
579
00:22:43,951 --> 00:22:45,417
Like I got shot.
580
00:22:45,420 --> 00:22:46,685
(pants)
581
00:22:46,688 --> 00:22:48,453
And woke up
in a Medieval Times restaurant.
582
00:22:48,455 --> 00:22:51,022
Well, you ain't too far
from wrong.
583
00:22:51,025 --> 00:22:52,892
Any idea what those
guys were after?
584
00:22:52,894 --> 00:22:55,094
This.
(grunts)
585
00:22:55,096 --> 00:22:58,263
Leader of the biker gang
killed a cop up in Sacramento.
586
00:22:58,266 --> 00:22:59,932
This had the cop's blood on it.
587
00:22:59,933 --> 00:23:00,865
And his.
588
00:23:00,867 --> 00:23:02,201
Heard about that shooting.
589
00:23:02,202 --> 00:23:03,868
Lawyer got a
change of venue,
590
00:23:03,871 --> 00:23:05,438
so the trial's
gonna happen here.
591
00:23:05,440 --> 00:23:07,138
Someone must've tipped
the gang
592
00:23:07,141 --> 00:23:08,773
to where the evidence was.
593
00:23:08,776 --> 00:23:10,843
Knew what they were after,
so I grabbed it.
594
00:23:10,845 --> 00:23:13,346
If they destroy that evidence,
a cop killer walks.
595
00:23:13,347 --> 00:23:15,748
Listen, promise,
no matter what happens to me,
596
00:23:15,750 --> 00:23:17,249
you won't let them have this.
597
00:23:17,250 --> 00:23:18,651
Hey, we promise.
598
00:23:18,653 --> 00:23:20,920
(groaning)
599
00:23:20,922 --> 00:23:22,954
(grunts, pants)
Okay, hey,
600
00:23:22,957 --> 00:23:24,022
tell me what you're feeling!
601
00:23:24,025 --> 00:23:27,125
(strained):
Pressure inside my chest.
602
00:23:27,127 --> 00:23:28,693
Oh, Toby, he's turning gray.
603
00:23:28,695 --> 00:23:30,395
Bullet must've nicked
the pericardial sac
604
00:23:30,397 --> 00:23:31,896
around his heart. The bullet
was probably blocking the hole.
605
00:23:31,898 --> 00:23:33,932
And when I took it out,
it started filling with blood
606
00:23:33,934 --> 00:23:35,667
and putting pressure
on his heart.
607
00:23:35,670 --> 00:23:39,070
So, uh, I need
a red-hot poker
608
00:23:39,073 --> 00:23:40,705
to cauterize
the wound,
609
00:23:40,708 --> 00:23:41,840
stop the bleeding
or he's gonna die.
610
00:23:41,843 --> 00:23:43,241
Blacksmith's. On it.
611
00:23:43,243 --> 00:23:44,576
CABE:
When those bikers
612
00:23:44,578 --> 00:23:46,077
realize the evidence
they're looking for
613
00:23:46,079 --> 00:23:48,513
isn't in that warehouse
and who took it...
614
00:23:48,516 --> 00:23:50,281
(gulps)
615
00:23:50,284 --> 00:23:52,951
I'm gonna go stand guard.
616
00:23:52,953 --> 00:23:55,221
King, you're with me.
617
00:23:55,222 --> 00:23:57,957
Let's go, Phil-boy,
move your knickers.
618
00:23:57,959 --> 00:23:59,791
Hey, man. My name's Chad.
619
00:23:59,794 --> 00:24:02,294
I sell Jacuzzis in the Valley.
620
00:24:02,296 --> 00:24:04,195
I don't fight bikers.
621
00:24:05,665 --> 00:24:07,599
I'm out of here.
622
00:24:07,602 --> 00:24:09,602
Son of a blunderbuss.
623
00:24:09,604 --> 00:24:12,337
He's abandoned us.
It's fine. I'll do it myself.
624
00:24:12,339 --> 00:24:13,705
Poker.
Okay.
625
00:24:13,708 --> 00:24:16,307
Here comes Renaissance
trauma care at its finest.
626
00:24:16,309 --> 00:24:18,176
Walt, Paige,
I hate to ask.
627
00:24:20,647 --> 00:24:21,680
Hey, man,
628
00:24:21,682 --> 00:24:22,882
I'll see you when you wake up,
629
00:24:22,884 --> 00:24:24,150
okay?
630
00:24:24,152 --> 00:24:26,951
I'm really sorry about this.
631
00:24:26,953 --> 00:24:29,989
(screaming)
632
00:24:34,194 --> 00:24:37,262
All right.
He's passed out cold, but...
633
00:24:37,265 --> 00:24:40,566
the bleeding stopped!
He should be fine.
634
00:24:40,567 --> 00:24:42,101
Unless he isn't.
635
00:24:42,103 --> 00:24:43,802
He's going into cardiac arrest.
636
00:24:43,805 --> 00:24:45,069
You were supposed to fix
his heart!
637
00:24:45,072 --> 00:24:46,538
All right, if we want
to keep him alive,
638
00:24:46,540 --> 00:24:48,507
we got to find a way
to shock his pumper!
639
00:24:48,509 --> 00:24:51,242
Uh, there's a defibrillator back
by the, um, transformer.
640
00:24:51,244 --> 00:24:53,813
No, the battery'll be fried from the
transformer's electromagnetic shock.
641
00:24:53,815 --> 00:24:55,980
Well, if the capacitor blew,
the computer components
642
00:24:55,982 --> 00:24:58,150
were preserved.
I can build a new capacitor.
643
00:24:58,152 --> 00:24:59,617
Still won't work
without batteries.
644
00:24:59,619 --> 00:25:01,487
Great. We're stuck
in the 17th century,
645
00:25:01,489 --> 00:25:04,722
and the only thing we need
to save this man is electricity!
646
00:25:04,724 --> 00:25:05,825
Exactly.
647
00:25:08,261 --> 00:25:11,196
This is why I hate
the Renaissance Festival.
648
00:25:20,365 --> 00:25:22,661
Okay, I triaged this thing's
melted guts best I can.
649
00:25:22,662 --> 00:25:23,625
Where's my ferromagnet?
650
00:25:23,648 --> 00:25:24,769
Here it is. Done.
651
00:25:24,769 --> 00:25:26,703
Happy, we need power.
652
00:25:26,705 --> 00:25:27,938
Working on it.
653
00:25:27,940 --> 00:25:30,507
Okay. Okay.
654
00:25:30,509 --> 00:25:32,576
Aluminum foil and a glass bottle
with a cork.
655
00:25:32,577 --> 00:25:34,077
And salt from
the Thanks for Mutton stand.
656
00:25:34,079 --> 00:25:36,079
Okay, bottle, salt, water,
cork, aluminum foil.
657
00:25:36,082 --> 00:25:38,182
Time to make a capacitor.
TOBY: Hurry up.
658
00:25:38,183 --> 00:25:40,651
He's not doing well.
My arms feel like jelly.
659
00:25:48,294 --> 00:25:49,259
All right, done.
660
00:25:49,260 --> 00:25:51,961
Either it works
or it explodes.
661
00:25:59,070 --> 00:26:00,471
The electricity
is back on.
662
00:26:00,472 --> 00:26:03,307
Yeah, that means I'm not making
this capacitor for nothing.
663
00:26:03,308 --> 00:26:06,009
Paige, can you, uh,
do me a favor and yank out
664
00:26:06,010 --> 00:26:07,778
the old capacitor
from the defibrillator?
665
00:26:07,779 --> 00:26:08,778
This thing here?
Yes.
666
00:26:08,780 --> 00:26:10,314
SYLVESTER:
Power is holding.
667
00:26:10,316 --> 00:26:12,182
Now, why don't you go down
to the office and call for help?
668
00:26:12,183 --> 00:26:13,483
My pleasure.
669
00:26:13,486 --> 00:26:14,751
Okay, thanks.
670
00:26:14,753 --> 00:26:16,252
A Leyden jar capacitor.
Nice.
671
00:26:16,255 --> 00:26:18,989
Yeah, it should store and
release enough electricity
672
00:26:18,990 --> 00:26:20,691
to get the defibrillator
back and running again.
673
00:26:20,692 --> 00:26:24,494
Okay, now all I need
is a nail. Oh. That hatpin.
674
00:26:26,132 --> 00:26:27,597
I'll get some juice.
675
00:26:27,599 --> 00:26:29,500
TOBY: All right,
he's running out of steam!
676
00:26:32,438 --> 00:26:34,404
Wire it in.
677
00:26:38,309 --> 00:26:39,343
It's working.
678
00:26:39,345 --> 00:26:40,778
Happy, switch with me.
679
00:26:46,618 --> 00:26:48,986
And... clear!
680
00:26:52,791 --> 00:26:54,258
(defibrillator beeping)
681
00:26:54,259 --> 00:26:55,893
Okay. He's okay.
682
00:26:55,894 --> 00:26:57,693
(exhales)
683
00:26:57,695 --> 00:26:58,996
(defibrillator flatlines)
684
00:26:58,998 --> 00:27:01,164
(defibrillator beeping steadily)
Wait, what the hell?
685
00:27:01,166 --> 00:27:03,000
No, no, no.
It's-it's okay. Look.
686
00:27:03,001 --> 00:27:06,170
(defibrillator flatlines, beeps)
Uh, what's that all about, Doc?
687
00:27:06,172 --> 00:27:08,238
His heart is being choked
by the pericardic blood.
688
00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,574
The defib acts
like a pacemaker.
689
00:27:10,576 --> 00:27:12,843
Sensing when his ticker stops,
then it hits reset
690
00:27:12,845 --> 00:27:15,244
by automatically shocking it
back into the rhythm.
691
00:27:15,247 --> 00:27:16,646
He needs to stay hooked up,
692
00:27:16,648 --> 00:27:17,914
but he'll-he'll be okay
until an ambulance gets here.
693
00:27:17,916 --> 00:27:19,383
SYLVESTER (panting):
Okay, well,
694
00:27:19,384 --> 00:27:21,285
that's not gonna be
for a while because traffic
695
00:27:21,287 --> 00:27:23,487
is still backed up
from the blown transformer
696
00:27:23,489 --> 00:27:25,355
and emergency personnel
are spread thin.
697
00:27:25,356 --> 00:27:27,723
Cops and ambulance won't be
here for another 30 minutes.
698
00:27:27,726 --> 00:27:28,991
CABE: We don't
have 30 minutes.
699
00:27:28,993 --> 00:27:32,596
The guys who shot the guard
are on their way here.
700
00:27:32,597 --> 00:27:34,431
What?! Why?!
701
00:27:34,432 --> 00:27:36,432
They can't find the evidence
they're looking for.
702
00:27:36,434 --> 00:27:38,101
The guard they shot is missing
703
00:27:38,103 --> 00:27:39,576
and there's cart tracks
leading back to here.
704
00:27:39,577 --> 00:27:41,212
It's okay.
I locked up their bikes.
705
00:27:41,215 --> 00:27:42,707
(gunshots)
706
00:27:42,708 --> 00:27:45,608
That's the sound of people
shooting locks off of chains.
707
00:27:45,611 --> 00:27:47,611
They'll have those bikes
hotwired in minutes.
708
00:27:47,613 --> 00:27:49,480
All right. Let's grab
the guard and scram.
709
00:27:49,481 --> 00:27:50,513
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
And go where?
710
00:27:50,516 --> 00:27:52,015
The-the parking lot
is a mile away
711
00:27:52,017 --> 00:27:53,517
and the service road
is backed up to the 101.
712
00:27:53,519 --> 00:27:57,253
Okay, so we camouflage ourselves
in a mass of hundreds of cars.
713
00:27:57,256 --> 00:27:58,454
That's a no-go.
714
00:27:58,457 --> 00:28:01,057
This man has to stay hooked up
to this defib or he dies.
715
00:28:01,059 --> 00:28:02,593
CABE: Can't we hook
that machine up
716
00:28:02,595 --> 00:28:04,060
to a car battery or something?
717
00:28:04,063 --> 00:28:06,363
That's DC power.
The defib needs AC.
718
00:28:06,365 --> 00:28:09,432
Well, what happens if we just,
uh, give them the evidence?
719
00:28:10,236 --> 00:28:11,801
Besides letting
a murderer go free?
720
00:28:11,804 --> 00:28:14,238
There's no guarantee that
they won't kill us anyway.
721
00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:16,707
Be the smart play.
Leave no witnesses.
722
00:28:16,709 --> 00:28:18,709
I have an idea how we can
protect the evidence
723
00:28:18,711 --> 00:28:20,510
and stop the bikers,
but we're gonna need help,
724
00:28:20,512 --> 00:28:21,778
all of your help.
725
00:28:24,717 --> 00:28:28,417
Yeah, uh, I-I have
sciatica. So...
726
00:28:29,989 --> 00:28:32,355
Giving you my hatpin
is one thing, but...
727
00:28:32,357 --> 00:28:33,656
you're talking
about guys with guns.
728
00:28:33,659 --> 00:28:35,791
Seriously?
None of you will help?
729
00:28:35,794 --> 00:28:38,662
Uh...
730
00:28:38,663 --> 00:28:40,963
Sylvester.
731
00:28:45,837 --> 00:28:48,171
You got to convince
them to work with us.
732
00:28:48,173 --> 00:28:50,140
You do it.
You're the military man.
733
00:28:50,142 --> 00:28:52,041
Exactly why they
won't listen to me.
734
00:28:52,044 --> 00:28:53,309
You speak nerd.
735
00:28:53,311 --> 00:28:55,211
You saw what happens
when I try to speak
736
00:28:55,213 --> 00:28:57,180
with something this big
on the line.
737
00:28:57,182 --> 00:28:59,415
You saw me fail
in court today.
738
00:29:01,252 --> 00:29:03,619
When Timan the Tailor
739
00:29:03,622 --> 00:29:06,690
failed to convince the
vassals to donate crops
740
00:29:06,692 --> 00:29:08,692
to the villagers,
did he give up?
741
00:29:08,693 --> 00:29:11,028
Hell no. He rallied
the peasants
742
00:29:11,029 --> 00:29:12,328
of Winterbourne.
743
00:29:12,330 --> 00:29:15,332
I knew you loved
Chair of Blades.
744
00:29:15,334 --> 00:29:16,900
Of course I do. Who wouldn't
love Chair of Blades?
745
00:29:16,902 --> 00:29:18,367
It's about warriors
battling for the right
746
00:29:18,369 --> 00:29:20,069
to sit on a
chair of blades.
747
00:29:20,071 --> 00:29:21,171
What's more badass
than that?
748
00:29:21,173 --> 00:29:23,272
Now, listen to me,
749
00:29:23,275 --> 00:29:27,644
you're as much a leader
as Timan the Tailor.
750
00:29:27,645 --> 00:29:30,446
It's in you.
751
00:29:30,449 --> 00:29:32,516
Just find it.
752
00:29:40,871 --> 00:29:45,666
Friends, Roman, countrymen,
753
00:29:46,067 --> 00:29:48,335
lend me your ear.
754
00:29:48,336 --> 00:29:52,404
Bullies call us nerds, geeks,
755
00:29:52,406 --> 00:29:54,339
losers.
(crowd muttering assent)
756
00:29:54,342 --> 00:29:57,376
The world shuns our kind.
757
00:29:57,378 --> 00:30:02,147
We have just one safe place:
the Renaissance Festival.
758
00:30:02,150 --> 00:30:03,615
And the Warlock's Chest.
759
00:30:03,617 --> 00:30:06,719
Yes, and the Warlock's Chest.
760
00:30:06,721 --> 00:30:08,354
And sci-fi conventions.
761
00:30:08,355 --> 00:30:09,888
Okay, so we have
three safe places,
762
00:30:09,891 --> 00:30:11,723
but only one of them
is being threatened today.
763
00:30:11,726 --> 00:30:16,528
And we need all of your help
to protect it.
764
00:30:16,530 --> 00:30:22,000
We play games in which
we pretend to be heroes.
765
00:30:22,002 --> 00:30:24,569
But this is your chance
766
00:30:24,571 --> 00:30:27,874
to actually be heroes.
767
00:30:27,875 --> 00:30:30,476
For how can we ever hope
768
00:30:30,478 --> 00:30:33,779
to live long and prosper
769
00:30:33,781 --> 00:30:37,316
if we be cowards now?
770
00:30:37,317 --> 00:30:39,050
So...
771
00:30:39,052 --> 00:30:44,089
so, who will stand with me
against the invading horde
772
00:30:44,092 --> 00:30:47,759
and say,
"You can take our lunch money,
773
00:30:47,761 --> 00:30:52,131
but you will never take
our Renaissance Festival!"
774
00:30:52,133 --> 00:30:54,433
CROWD:
Huzzah! Huzzah!
775
00:30:54,435 --> 00:30:57,202
Huzzah! Huzzah!
776
00:30:57,204 --> 00:31:00,138
(engines revving)
You hear that?
777
00:31:00,141 --> 00:31:02,107
Motorcycle engines.
They're on their way.
778
00:31:02,109 --> 00:31:04,176
Huzzah! Huzzah!
779
00:31:04,179 --> 00:31:06,045
We're all gonna
die here, right?
780
00:31:06,047 --> 00:31:07,846
Yeah, we're totally dead.
781
00:31:07,848 --> 00:31:09,749
Huzzah!
782
00:31:09,750 --> 00:31:11,183
Those bikers can't know that
783
00:31:11,185 --> 00:31:12,919
we're trying to lure them
in or this won't work.
784
00:31:12,921 --> 00:31:14,153
Show me your surprise face.
785
00:31:16,458 --> 00:31:18,223
You surprised
or having a stroke?
786
00:31:18,226 --> 00:31:20,425
All right, here
they come. Places!
787
00:31:20,428 --> 00:31:21,993
Great.
788
00:31:21,996 --> 00:31:23,195
Oh, my God.
789
00:31:28,202 --> 00:31:30,102
Oh, boy.
790
00:31:49,891 --> 00:31:51,123
(all yelling)
791
00:31:58,132 --> 00:31:59,731
Now.
792
00:32:06,641 --> 00:32:08,641
(grunts)
793
00:32:08,643 --> 00:32:10,609
My ankle.
794
00:32:10,612 --> 00:32:12,444
(panting)
795
00:32:12,446 --> 00:32:13,913
Now, that's a surprised face.
796
00:32:17,484 --> 00:32:19,285
(horse neighs)
797
00:32:20,688 --> 00:32:22,387
Huh? (grunts)
798
00:32:25,359 --> 00:32:28,227
(grunts)
799
00:32:28,229 --> 00:32:30,162
(coughs)
800
00:32:39,307 --> 00:32:41,941
Looks like you're going
to the stocks, jackass.
801
00:32:47,015 --> 00:32:48,079
Oh, crap.
802
00:32:51,952 --> 00:32:54,192
Come on, man, you're nothing
but a sitting duck out here.
803
00:32:54,822 --> 00:32:56,923
Come on.
(metal clanging)
804
00:33:05,232 --> 00:33:06,932
ALL:
Huzzah!
805
00:33:16,044 --> 00:33:17,209
Cabe!
806
00:33:19,980 --> 00:33:20,880
(gun clicks)
(gasps)
807
00:33:20,882 --> 00:33:23,316
Drop it.
(defibrillator beeping)
808
00:33:24,384 --> 00:33:26,384
Well, you're the boss.
809
00:33:28,489 --> 00:33:30,455
No! No!
810
00:33:30,458 --> 00:33:32,157
If somebody doesn't give
me that evidence bag,
811
00:33:32,160 --> 00:33:33,491
I'm gonna kill him.
812
00:33:33,493 --> 00:33:34,859
Don't do anything drastic.
813
00:33:34,862 --> 00:33:36,127
Give me the shirt.
814
00:33:36,130 --> 00:33:37,395
No.
I hid it
815
00:33:37,397 --> 00:33:38,631
when you were fighting.
I won't tell you
816
00:33:38,633 --> 00:33:40,165
where it is until
you let him go.
817
00:33:40,167 --> 00:33:41,232
It's not happening.
818
00:33:41,234 --> 00:33:42,201
I will kill him,
819
00:33:42,202 --> 00:33:43,736
and I will kill all of you.
820
00:33:43,738 --> 00:33:45,637
Oh, he's telling the truth.
821
00:33:45,640 --> 00:33:47,006
Good.
822
00:33:47,008 --> 00:33:48,507
'Cause in order
to save this cop's life,
823
00:33:48,509 --> 00:33:50,576
first he has to die.
824
00:34:02,945 --> 00:34:05,113
I'm pulling the
trigger on three.
825
00:34:05,882 --> 00:34:08,315
(defibrillator flatlines,
shocks)
826
00:34:08,318 --> 00:34:10,284
Happy, how much do you trust me?
827
00:34:10,286 --> 00:34:11,652
More than I probably should.
828
00:34:11,677 --> 00:34:12,755
One.
829
00:34:12,755 --> 00:34:14,422
I need you to undo
everything that you did.
830
00:34:14,423 --> 00:34:15,856
Destroy it all.
831
00:34:15,858 --> 00:34:17,125
Oh, man.
832
00:34:17,126 --> 00:34:18,693
I think I know
what you're planning.
833
00:34:18,695 --> 00:34:19,594
Two.
834
00:34:19,596 --> 00:34:20,327
What's he planning?
835
00:34:20,329 --> 00:34:21,496
Something nuts.
836
00:34:21,498 --> 00:34:22,498
Now!
837
00:34:31,840 --> 00:34:33,673
(beeps) (grunts)
What the...?
838
00:34:38,648 --> 00:34:42,516
See? I told you that sword
was held in with electricity.
839
00:34:42,518 --> 00:34:44,117
TOBY: Well, speaking of which,
with no electricity,
840
00:34:44,119 --> 00:34:45,253
we just killed this man.
841
00:34:45,255 --> 00:34:46,353
What's the plan, Walt?
842
00:34:46,356 --> 00:34:47,989
Uh, Paige, grab
that spinning wheel.
843
00:34:47,990 --> 00:34:50,525
I'll set up the defibrillator!
844
00:34:50,527 --> 00:34:51,291
SYLVESTER: You're gonna
wrap wool around the hat pin
845
00:34:51,293 --> 00:34:53,293
on the capacitor you built.
846
00:34:53,295 --> 00:34:54,929
And the spinning wheel
will move fast enough to create
847
00:34:54,931 --> 00:34:56,164
a static charge capable
848
00:34:56,166 --> 00:34:57,731
of firing
the defibrillator back up.
849
00:34:57,733 --> 00:34:59,500
Which will fire
his heart back up.
850
00:34:59,501 --> 00:35:01,034
(panting)
Okay.
851
00:35:01,036 --> 00:35:02,869
TOBY: Walt, hurry up!
Yep.
852
00:35:02,871 --> 00:35:04,539
Okay, Paige, start peddling.
853
00:35:04,541 --> 00:35:05,706
Okay.
854
00:35:05,708 --> 00:35:07,041
How much power does it make?
855
00:35:07,043 --> 00:35:08,742
Uh, not a lot.
Ed Begley Jr. could barely
856
00:35:08,744 --> 00:35:10,043
make his toast this way.
857
00:35:10,045 --> 00:35:11,512
Well, let's just hope
it's enough to give him
858
00:35:11,514 --> 00:35:13,514
a decent enough jolt
every 90 seconds or so,
859
00:35:13,516 --> 00:35:14,882
or this guy's not gonna make it.
860
00:35:14,884 --> 00:35:17,184
(beeps)
Ready for shock.
861
00:35:17,186 --> 00:35:18,753
All right, hit him!
862
00:35:18,755 --> 00:35:19,954
(steady beep, shocks)
863
00:35:21,257 --> 00:35:23,490
(beeping)
864
00:35:23,492 --> 00:35:25,992
It worked. Uh, he's-he's gonna
need another one soon,
865
00:35:25,994 --> 00:35:27,128
so keep pumping,
Paige.
866
00:35:27,130 --> 00:35:28,528
How long do I have
to keep this going?
867
00:35:28,530 --> 00:35:29,697
Till an ambulance gets here.
868
00:35:29,699 --> 00:35:31,965
We can all take turns.
869
00:35:31,967 --> 00:35:34,402
Feel like your speech really
had an effect on them, kid.
870
00:35:34,403 --> 00:35:35,769
Yeah, I-I...
871
00:35:35,771 --> 00:35:38,338
I can't pedal on account
of my sciatica.
872
00:35:38,340 --> 00:35:40,875
All except that one.
He's a real weenie.
873
00:35:41,744 --> 00:35:43,710
(grunts)
874
00:35:44,581 --> 00:35:46,079
(grunts)
875
00:35:46,081 --> 00:35:47,648
King Phillip?
876
00:35:49,284 --> 00:35:50,885
(grunts)
877
00:35:50,887 --> 00:35:52,385
Were you hiding
in the manure bin?
878
00:35:52,387 --> 00:35:54,588
Good day.
879
00:35:56,259 --> 00:35:57,992
Speaking of weenies.
880
00:36:05,601 --> 00:36:08,702
Just got off the phone
with a cop buddy of mine.
881
00:36:08,704 --> 00:36:12,172
Guard's gonna be okay,
the bikers won't be.
882
00:36:13,009 --> 00:36:14,375
Garage looks...
883
00:36:14,376 --> 00:36:16,177
Looks like
The Hobbit threw up in it.
884
00:36:16,179 --> 00:36:17,711
I was gonna say "perfect."
885
00:36:17,713 --> 00:36:19,914
Next best thing to a birthday
at the Renaissance Festival.
886
00:36:19,916 --> 00:36:21,681
Okay, Sly.
887
00:36:21,684 --> 00:36:23,284
Your little friends are here.
888
00:36:23,286 --> 00:36:25,485
Guys. Y-You came.
889
00:36:25,487 --> 00:36:27,454
I thought you were staying
at the festival.
890
00:36:27,456 --> 00:36:29,422
We would never miss
your birthday bacchanalia,
891
00:36:29,425 --> 00:36:31,092
old friend.
(chuckles)
892
00:36:31,094 --> 00:36:33,561
And besides, the festival's
closed until they fix the power.
893
00:36:33,563 --> 00:36:36,130
Uh, it matters not why.
894
00:36:36,132 --> 00:36:37,797
Just that
we are here.
895
00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:40,568
Now slice the cake
with Raven's Beak,
896
00:36:40,570 --> 00:36:42,402
let the Dr. Shazz
flow free,
897
00:36:42,405 --> 00:36:45,239
for tonight, we dine in Hell!
898
00:36:45,240 --> 00:36:47,842
ALL:
Huzzah!
899
00:36:47,844 --> 00:36:50,677
You know, we never finished what
we started in that hay loft.
900
00:36:50,679 --> 00:36:52,780
A Scorpion outing went sideways.
901
00:36:52,782 --> 00:36:54,849
It happens. A lot.
902
00:36:54,851 --> 00:36:58,018
Okay, well, I can't help notice
there's no pending disaster now.
903
00:36:58,021 --> 00:36:59,954
Well, it depends on how
you define "disaster."
904
00:36:59,956 --> 00:37:01,889
Sly's nerd friends
are preparing to do battle.
905
00:37:01,891 --> 00:37:04,759
Careful. Don't get my eyes.
Ow.
906
00:37:04,760 --> 00:37:07,628
See, that's all the more reason
why we need to get back to work
907
00:37:07,630 --> 00:37:11,431
on Operation Baby Quintis
as soon as possible.
908
00:37:11,434 --> 00:37:14,835
Well, it would be a shame to
waste these stupid costumes.
909
00:37:14,836 --> 00:37:18,572
How about after the party,
we have a party of our own?
910
00:37:18,574 --> 00:37:21,708
Don't have to ask me twice.
911
00:37:21,710 --> 00:37:23,945
Speaking of stupid...
912
00:37:23,947 --> 00:37:25,179
I know it's dumb,
913
00:37:25,181 --> 00:37:29,817
but before we left
the festival, I bought this.
914
00:37:30,954 --> 00:37:33,920
Um, it's supposed
to bring the wearer
915
00:37:33,922 --> 00:37:35,690
good baby-making luck.
916
00:37:35,692 --> 00:37:36,757
I don't believe it, but...
917
00:37:36,759 --> 00:37:39,260
You figured,
"What could it hurt"?
918
00:37:39,262 --> 00:37:40,427
Yeah.
919
00:37:44,199 --> 00:37:46,900
Me, too.
920
00:37:48,804 --> 00:37:50,972
(both shouting)
921
00:37:57,579 --> 00:37:59,112
(strumming guitar)
922
00:37:59,114 --> 00:38:04,518
♪ When I'm with you ♪
923
00:38:04,519 --> 00:38:08,356
♪ It soothes my mind ♪
924
00:38:08,358 --> 00:38:11,958
♪ And I feel fine ♪
925
00:38:11,960 --> 00:38:15,663
♪ I feel fine ♪
926
00:38:15,664 --> 00:38:19,065
♪ When you're with me ♪
927
00:38:19,068 --> 00:38:22,503
♪ My mind can rest ♪
928
00:38:22,505 --> 00:38:25,472
♪ My thoughts can nest ♪
929
00:38:25,474 --> 00:38:29,710
♪ Thoughts can nest ♪
930
00:38:29,711 --> 00:38:31,746
♪ You're the calm ♪
931
00:38:31,748 --> 00:38:35,382
♪ I hold in my arms ♪
932
00:38:35,385 --> 00:38:39,253
♪ The peace that I need ♪
933
00:38:39,255 --> 00:38:42,523
♪ You so disarm. ♪
934
00:38:42,525 --> 00:38:44,692
(strums guitar)
935
00:38:46,929 --> 00:38:48,429
This is stupid.
936
00:38:48,431 --> 00:38:49,764
PAIGE:
Walter?
937
00:38:49,766 --> 00:38:51,097
Um...
938
00:38:51,768 --> 00:38:52,900
Um...
939
00:38:52,902 --> 00:38:53,735
Hey.
940
00:38:53,759 --> 00:38:55,237
I just got back
from picking up Ralph.
941
00:38:55,237 --> 00:38:57,704
He's downstairs, putting his
costume on for Sly's party.
942
00:38:57,706 --> 00:39:00,206
I was gonna change back into
mine, if you want to join us.
943
00:39:00,208 --> 00:39:01,905
Yeah, sure. I'll be down
in a minute.
944
00:39:01,929 --> 00:39:03,929
Great.
945
00:39:04,414 --> 00:39:06,880
You know, my...
946
00:39:06,882 --> 00:39:10,951
my job with Scorpion
is to help you act more human
947
00:39:10,952 --> 00:39:13,853
so you can function
better in the world,
948
00:39:13,856 --> 00:39:16,791
but I don't want you to pretend
949
00:39:16,793 --> 00:39:21,128
to be someone you're not
to be my boyfriend.
950
00:39:21,130 --> 00:39:24,498
You know, like,
earlier today,
951
00:39:24,500 --> 00:39:26,233
I saw a guy with a stupid crown,
952
00:39:26,235 --> 00:39:28,501
and he was pretending
to be someone he's not.
953
00:39:28,503 --> 00:39:31,704
And then, when push
came to shove, he ran away,
954
00:39:31,706 --> 00:39:35,342
and he showed
his ugly true self.
955
00:39:35,344 --> 00:39:36,677
He hid in feces.
956
00:39:36,679 --> 00:39:38,478
Yes, he... he did.
957
00:39:38,481 --> 00:39:40,414
My-my point is,
958
00:39:40,416 --> 00:39:44,585
is that you are always
your true self, Walter,
959
00:39:44,586 --> 00:39:47,887
and that person
is brave and good,
960
00:39:47,889 --> 00:39:49,889
and I love that about you.
961
00:39:49,891 --> 00:39:52,159
So I just wanted
you to know,
962
00:39:52,161 --> 00:39:57,063
I love a lot about you, whether
you like silly festivals or not.
963
00:40:02,672 --> 00:40:04,838
(chuckles softly)
964
00:40:09,679 --> 00:40:12,213
(clears throat)
965
00:40:12,215 --> 00:40:15,815
One thing that's for sure,
I am not a musician.
966
00:40:20,088 --> 00:40:22,356
♪ Being a maiden... ♪
967
00:40:22,358 --> 00:40:23,891
Grab me a beer, would you?
968
00:40:23,893 --> 00:40:25,425
You're in a good mood.
969
00:40:25,427 --> 00:40:27,427
Why wouldn't I be? I saw
what my counsel can really do
970
00:40:27,429 --> 00:40:28,628
when the heat is on.
971
00:40:28,630 --> 00:40:30,764
Well, the trust you placed in me
972
00:40:30,766 --> 00:40:32,233
was what inspired me.
973
00:40:32,235 --> 00:40:33,266
I promise you,
974
00:40:33,268 --> 00:40:34,467
come heck or high water,
975
00:40:34,469 --> 00:40:36,036
I will win your case.
976
00:40:36,038 --> 00:40:37,137
I know that.
977
00:40:37,139 --> 00:40:39,405
And don't worry.
978
00:40:39,407 --> 00:40:43,409
I will never tell anyone
that you love Chair of Blades.
979
00:40:43,411 --> 00:40:44,677
(chuckles)
980
00:40:44,679 --> 00:40:47,148
Whoa. Cabe's a nerd.
981
00:40:47,150 --> 00:40:49,282
I'm not a nerd.
982
00:40:49,284 --> 00:40:50,717
I'm a Bladie.
983
00:40:50,719 --> 00:40:52,418
And there's a difference.
984
00:40:52,420 --> 00:40:56,556
And Magnus wants to party.
985
00:40:56,559 --> 00:40:58,791
(laughing): All right.
(laughs)
986
00:41:01,230 --> 00:41:02,730
♪ Come on ♪
987
00:41:02,731 --> 00:41:05,099
♪ Churn my butter ♪
988
00:41:05,101 --> 00:41:07,867
♪ Please let this knight
break up ♪
989
00:41:07,869 --> 00:41:10,070
♪ Your day ♪
990
00:41:11,773 --> 00:41:14,708
♪ Whoa, whoa, oh,
whoa, whoa, oh. ♪
991
00:41:16,244 --> 00:41:23,144
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man